Your relationship is worth it
Couples Therapy in Palo Alto
You’ve tried everything you can think of, but nothing’s working.
Rooted in science, Gottman Couples Therapy follows the framework of the Sound Relationship House. The framework of a house is used to illustrate the levels that a couple must master (or at the very least put attention and focus on) in order to have a healthy and lasting relationship.
As with a house, the foundation of a relationship must be strong. We can’t grow our relationships when the foundations are weak. At the bottom of the Sound Relationship House we have the foundational levels of Building Love Maps and Sharing Fondness and Admiration. What I tell my couples is that these 2 levels are all about knowing and liking each other. We can’t get to the hard stuff if the two of you are struggling with friendship and liking each other.
The Sound Relationship House progresses upward to include skills such as Turning Towards, Positive Perspective, Managing Conflict, Making Life Dreams Come True, and Creating Shared Meaning. Turning Towards, Positive Perspective, and Managing Conflict can all be put under the umbrella of communication and conflict resolution. They include skills such as being present for one another, listening, validating, responding to our partners emotions, how to give an apology and so much more. Making Life Dreams Come True and Creating Shared Meaning can be placed under the umbrella of values; who are we individually, who are we as a couple, and what do we stand for?
Why Gottman Therapy?
When people first contact me they often share a fear that couples therapy won’t work. The truth is that in order for couples therapy to work you need a therapist who knows what they are doing and you need a therapist that is trained in some type of couples therapy framework. I like stuff that I know works, I also married a scientist. Gottman Couples therapy is rooted in science and has decades of data that tells us that it works.
John Gottman found from observing and studying couples for over 4 decades that couples tend to struggle with much of the same problems and have much of the same needs. Gottman found that by focusing on helping couples to develop the skills outlined in the Sound Relationship House, couples were then able to leave therapy and continue to work on their relationship.
I’ve witnessed in my own practice the effectiveness of Gottman Couples Therapy and have seen it help couples struggling with many different concerns. I’ve seen it help couples recovering from an affair, couples who fell out of love, couples struggling with the transition into parenthood, couples struggling with conflict and fighting, couples struggling with addiction, couples struggling with trauma. I truly believe Gottman couples therapy can help your relationship too.
Rooted in science, tailored to you
Even when your relationship feels stuck, meaningful change is possible.
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Weekly or Bi-Weekly Couples Therapy Sessions: We will meet weekly or bi-weekly depending on your goals and relationship needs. All sessions will be conducted exclusively online and you and your partner do not need to be in the same place during the time of the session.
The 1st session is a time when you, your partner, and I come together to discuss the issues that are bringing you into couples therapy. During this time I will ask you and your partner to share the story of your relationship, what is bringing you into therapy, and what you hope to accomplish in therapy.
The 2nd session is actually 2 separate 45 minute sessions done individually with you and then with your partner. These individual sessions are a time for you and your partner to speak more candidly about your needs in the relationship and your hopes for couples therapy. It’s normal to be concerned about this part of the process - but I’m not here to judge or take sides. I listen to you both equally to get a clear picture of what you’ll need individually and as a couple.
Session 3 is when you, your partner and I come back together and discuss goals for therapy. Using the information gathered in the first session, the 2 individual sessions and from the online assessment, we will map out a plan to help you and your partner get back on track in your relationship.
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You can expect guidance from a trained couples therapist with more than 15 years of experience using the Gottman Method.
You can expect more than a place to rehash old arguments. Together, we’ll use evidence-based tools and strategies to help you reconnect, communicate more effectively, and work through conflict more productively.
You can expect to be both supported and challenged. I’ll help you understand the patterns that keep you stuck, while guiding you toward new ways of communicating, responding, and showing up for one another.
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How Can the Gottman Method Help?
The Gottman Method can help you:
Reconnect and strengthen your friendship
Rediscover what brought you together, deepen your understanding of one another, and build a stronger sense of connection and partnership.Communicate in ways that lead to understanding
Learn practical, evidence-based tools for expressing your needs, listening to your partner, and having difficult conversations without getting stuck in the same cycle.Manage conflict more effectively
Learn to approach disagreements with greater understanding and less defensiveness, criticism, or escalation. The goal isn’t to eliminate conflict, but to help you navigate it in healthier and more productive ways.Break unhealthy patterns
Identify the patterns that keep you feeling stuck and learn new ways of responding to one another so that the same arguments don’t keep repeating.Rebuild trust and repair hurt
Whether you’re recovering from a betrayal or simply feeling disconnected, therapy can help you address painful experiences, rebuild trust, and create a stronger foundation for your relationship.Create a relationship that feels more intentional
Develop the skills and habits that support lasting connection, intimacy, friendship, and partnership—not just during therapy, but in your everyday life together.
Heal . Grow . Connect
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Heal . Grow . Connect —